"To defeat your enemy, you must hate your enemy," said Wilhelm Steinitz in 1887, shortly after becoming the first to win the world chess title. It is an adage I sometimes mull over in the middle of a Star Trek tournament-- how do you motivate yourself to win? Does it help to be antagonistic?

Well... I'd say yes.

I know it can help, but it can hurt also. If you find your opposition contemptible (like I often do), then it's easier to play a cheese deck that wins. On the other hand, it can lead you to be complacent about them and that is a deadly mistake. In the following paragraphs, I'd like to run through some of the tactics, tricks and antics you can pull if you don't feel that your competition is a worthy human being.

There have only ever been two American Chess Champions, both of them were assholes. I'm going to be borrowing a lot of pages from the books of Bobby Fisher, and Paul Morphey. Both of them were prodigies, both of them fervently insane, both of them retiring from chess at an early age.

Lets start with Bobby Fisher. Most of his out of game tactics are simple distraction. Being loud and obnoxious. Filing numerous complaints and starting numerous rules arguments over trivialities. Demanding that the chessboard be chequered in yellow and green instead of white and black. Stalling.

While loudness and obnoxiousness are effective, you must be careful. You can get ejected from a tournament for disruptive behaviour. On the other hand most TD's will avoid throwing you out if they can. If you can disguise your distractions as legitimate game actions, so much the better. One of the best distracting techniques that I have come across is during the seed phase, as you put down your hidden agendas, to slap them down on the table with all your might [making sure that the table is sturdy enough]. The resultant noise will snap the concentration of no only your opponent, but also other players in the room.

In the fifth game of this years provincial, my opponent caught on to this tactic, and responded in kind. Every time I said "hidden agenda," and slapped the table, he would say it louder, and hit the table harder. This progressed to the point that we were both red in the face, and the room was staring at us. A game to remember.

Complaints are possibly one of the most misused strategies in the game. They shouldn't be about stalling the game, as much as making the opponent forget what he was doing. A correctly timed rules argument can often cause a player to end his turn early, leaving you with an open board. Remember not to let your opponent take back his "end turn" declaration-- this trick seldom works twice.

Although it isn't possible to insist that the cards are chequered in green and yellow, it is possible to put some of the thought behind it to use. Always control the play environment. Chose your table and make your opponent come to you. I generally choose to play with my back to a window facing south when possible. If your opponent is blinded by the light, he'll be playing worse. Make sure your chair is comfortable, and if you can arrange it, that the chair on the opposite side of the table isn't.

Paul Morphey's famous adage was "know thine enemy," and what we learn from him is never to ignore information. If you know what someone is playing, and it will be an advantage to counterbuild-- DO SO! I wish I didn't have to say it, but I've seen too many decent players lose because even though they knew what their opponent was playing before the tournament, they refused to counterbuild out of some sense of 'honour.' I only won my provincial by building four of the six decks I faced that day, and building a deck that would stomp them. The second point is that if you overhear what your opponent is playing during a tournament try and plan out a course of action-- of course I don't recommend that you actively seek out that information because that would be unethical, and the slugs you are playing against deserve your ethics... really.

There is a fine line between cheating and letting your opponent make a mistake, and it comes down to these tips.

1. never allow your opponent to take anything back, unless it is in your advantage to do so.
2. never call attention to a rule they misinterpreted or ignored, unless it is in you advantage to do so.
3. pretend ignorance when your mistakes are brought to light.
4. create opportunities for your opponent to screw up.

Lets put these concepts into practice: I sit down against the most contemptible player in the region: Marko Musa. I can use his name safely because no one he knows in the 'Trek community will ever tell him about this article. He has a fairly decent sealed deck ranking, and is overall a good player.

I assume I'm going first, and declare that I'm seeding a doorway. he seeds his doorway. I seed my first mission. He pipes up 'who said that you could go first?' I tell him that I had gone first in the doorway phase, and so I would continue to do so for the rest of the game. The TD comes over and affirms that yes that was true, and that no, we could not go back a step.

At this point Marko is already angry, his mind is no longer on the game, and I get the first turn. Point one for Olav.

The dilemma phase comes. I seed a hidden agenda, putting it on the table with a little too much force, saying "hidden agenda" a little too loudly. He seeds. I repeat. After I've put down three, and he's seeded three, I slap my hand on the table, with the same intensity as before. He seeds, assuming that I've just put down a hidden agenda. I repeat.

I've just gained last seed without the risk of passing, just letting him ride on his assumptions, and letting him screw up.

I seed my mission specialists during outpost phase, they are being downloaded to a built in outpost, I tell him to seed while I get my specialists. I take long enough that when I'm done, he forgets that he has already seeded. I call for a ruling on a card that I'm to seed. When the TD is done explaining to me something I already know, I tell Marko "it's your seed." He assumes I'm right. One more seed closer to last seed.

I could continue, but I think I've covered all the bases. Just remember, never let petty bourgeois gaming morality get in the way of winning. The more you hate your opponents, the easier this will be.

Email Olav Rokne about this article.

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