Aefvadh! And welcome...to the Tal Shiar Barbershop.

It seems that in recent weeks, complaints have been abnormally high about how supposedly inferior the Romulan affiliation is to the Klingons and Feds. We won't deny that they are under-developed in comparison (and we'd be more than happy to see a few green premium cards to go along with the blue and red ones in the 2-Player Games), but we'd say they are an even match in the hands of the right player.

In fact, the thought struck Mot that the way people are talking about the Romulans, you'd think they were a "useless affiliation." Well, Mot loves debunking the "useless card" adage, so he decided to devote a Useless Card Review to Romulan superiority, which led, logically, to a proposal of collaboration with the Major. We herewith present the first joint venture of the Tal Shiar and the Barber's Guild,

TEN THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN THEY LAUGH
AT YOUR ROMULAN DECK

1. STRENGTH AND CUNNING
On the average, the Romulans are every bit as strong as the Klingons. (In fact, if you remove Fek'lhr from the equation, Romulans are actually stronger!) They aren't lacking in CUNNING like the rather dim Klingons, however. In fact, more Romulans have a CUNNING of 8 or better than any other affiliation, at 55%. Klingons can only muster a pathetic 9%, and even the Feds barely top 37%. The list of cards requiring CUNNING or STRENGTH is quite extensive, far longer than INTEGRITY. (And that includes Shaka, When the Walls Fell.) Even Explore Typhone Expanse, with a requirement of CUNNING greater than 50, takes on average only 7 Romulans, but 9 or 10 Klingons. Or, you can meet the alternative requirements with a lot fewer personnel; the Romulans have a lot of...

2. EASY HIGH POINT MISSIONS
The Romulans have the only 40 point mission that can be completed by a single personnel (Quash Conspiracy), and two personnel capable of completing it (Telak, Major Rakal). What's more, they have more high point missions that can be completed by one or two personnel than any other affiliation: Covert Installation, Explore Typhone Expanse, Extraction, Investigate Raid, and Study Lonka Pulsar. Most of the high point missions for the other affiliations have requirements in STRENGTH, CUNNING or INTEGRITY, making it necessary to have a lot more personnel. Get to those missions quickly with...

3. FAST SHIPS
Not one Romulan ship has a RANGE of less than 8. Compare this to the Federation, loaded with 6's and 7's. And many Romulan ships have a RANGE of 9 or better, but only the Enterprise and Future Enterprise manage this for the Feds. You can play missions with high ranges, and get around much faster than the average Federation opponent, or even a Klingon player using K'Vorts instead of Vor'chas. And to enhance your other ship stats, try...

4. CAPTAIN'S LOG BENEFITS
The Romulans currently have five ships eligible for Captain's Log benefits, complete with the captains to match. (Devoras/Mendak, Haakona/Taris, Khazara/Toreth, Decius/Tomalak, Terix/Sirol) That's more than any other affiliation. The Klingons and the Federation only have four, and the Non-aligned personnel add only three more. You're likely to have at least two matching Romulan pairs in any Romulan deck you build, meaning it may be worth your while to include the Captain's Log. You don't have to go out of your way to get these benefits, as you might playing another affiliation. (When is the last time you played with Kargan or Benjamin Maxwell?) Now that you have your ships beefed up, try a little...

5. ESPIONAGE
Only the Romulans have the ability to commit espionage on both the other affiliations. At the same time, they're immune to having it done to them. That means ultimately that ANY mission (except Qualor II) is fair game for them if you are willing to include the cards. Pick any one skill, and you'll easily find six missions for it if you think in terms of espionage. A deck that tightly focused on one or two skills will require fewer personnel, allowing room for the Espionage cards (and the Q2s or Rishon Uxbridges to protect them). Of course, with Espionage goes...

6. TREACHERY
Even without Espionage, it's easy to build a tightly focused Romulan deck, and the easiest skill to focus on is Treachery. 41% of Romulans share this skill, which is required on 11 different Romulan missions. This gives a greater skill requirement overlap than any other affiliation. Even among those Honorable Klingons, only 36% have Honor-- and only 5 Klingon missions require it. You can easily build an all- Treachery Romulan deck. What's more, you can get this kind of focus using...

7. ALL-COMMON PERSONNEL DECKS
The Romulans have 25 missions that can be done with all commons (the occasional non-aligned included, like Vekor for Navigation), 19 of them without holos. Only four are worth 25 points or less. 9 of the 25 require *only* Treachery, Archaeology, and Computer Skill, all of which are readily available with commons; in fact, Treachery/Archaeology decks seem to appear quite frequently. While the Klingons have 31 missions that could be done by all commons (29 without holos), there is no such skill overlap, and 7 are worth 25 points or less. (I'm not counting the use of K'chiQ here, because although she's common and universal, you can only use one in an Away Team or crew, and she's too susceptible to losing her man.) Feds have 24 missions that could be done by all commons, but 4 of those require the non-universal Scotty, so you have no backup for his crucial skills; and 8 are worth 25 points or less (two are only 15 each). Again, there is no particular skill overlap. An all-common deck means that a relative beginner with few cards can still make a viable Romulan deck. It would be virtually immune to Klim Dokachin, and with Lower Decks in play, not a single common Romulan will die in a Firestorm or Thought Fire. Who needs Thermal Deflectors? Of course, there are other dilemmas to consider, such as...

8. QUANTUM SINGULARITY LIFEFORMS
This could be one of the worst cards for the Romulans. It's also one of the best, when you turn it against your opponent. Send a single personnel on a Science Vessel out to a space location where an opponent's ship (ideally one loaded with personnel) is parked. Attempt the mission there, releasing a Quantum Singularity Lifeforms you yourself seeded there. The presence of your Romulan warp core will put their entire crew into stasis. You can keep them there most of the game while you attempt missions with the rest of your personnel... or you can have an ENGINEER accompany an armada and "help them out" by releasing their ship, into a barrage of disruptor fire. And speaking of armadas, why not make it a...

9. SCIENCE GREED ARMADA
Say "armada" and everyone thinks "Klingon". But you can also build a respectable Romulan Armada with--don't laugh!-- Science Vessels. With stats of 8-5-6 compared to the K'Vort's 8-6-6, they could use a little Bynars help, but have *no* staffing requirements; lead the fleet with an 8-7-6 single-staff-star T'Pau for flavor. How does this make them superior, you ask? Just man your little ships with Galathons, blow away your opponent's ships, and then hit them with Latinum Payoffs (since Gally has Greed and is also OFFICER for a battle leader). No one else has a universal Greedy OFFICER. Of course, all those Galathons are actually good for something else, too--the previously mentioned Treachery/Archaeology decks. And along with that, he's useful for...

10. THE CHARYBDIS
Make artifact acquisition difficult for your opponent, while being almost certain to walk away with your own--and his too, if he has to leave them behind for lack of Archaeology. It's a particularly effective strategy against Feds, who have only 4 Archaeologists, all rare. Besides Galathon, the Romulans have the common Taul, who is virtually certain to be in most Romulan decks anyway, in multiple, for SECURITY, plus the uncommon D'Tan and rare Taris...and they can use Galen as well.

There you have it, friends. What more reason could you need to switch to the not-so-useless affiliation?

Jolan tru!